Who Is Our Enemy?

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We use the words friend and enemy very easily.

Someone supports what I want to do:

He is my friend.

Someone opposes me:

He is my enemy.

Someone remains silent when I expect support:

He is not really my friend.

But is it so simple?

To answer this, we first need to understand something about karma, intention, support, results, time, and our own judgment.

1. Why Do We Perform Karma?

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Broadly, we want two kinds of things in life:

• We want to get something.
• We want to get rid of something.

We may want:

• money,
• position,
• knowledge,
• health,
• a relationship,
• recognition,
• security,
• pleasure,

or we may want to get rid of:

• pain,
• poverty,
• illness,
• fear,
• conflict,
• loneliness,
• responsibility,
• a person,
• or an uncomfortable situation.

To bring about the desired condition, we perform karma.

Here, let us use karma simply to mean chosen action. Call that chosen action K.

I think:

If I do this, perhaps I will get the result I want.

My karma K may be:

• doing A,
• doing B,
• doing C,
• doing A and B but not C,
• stopping A,
• avoiding B,
• or deliberately doing nothing.

Even not acting can sometimes be a deliberate action.

Therefore, karma is not merely physical activity.

It involves choice.

2. Karma Is Usually Performed for a Result

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Normally, we do not act randomly.

We expect something.

We study because we want knowledge, qualification, employment, or some other result.

We invest because we expect wealth.

We marry because we expect a particular kind of life.

We help somebody because we expect their well-being, our satisfaction, social harmony, punya, or perhaps something else.

We oppose someone because we believe stopping them will produce a better result.

So in ordinary life, karma and expected result are closely connected.

For many people:

The value of karma is judged by the result of karma.

If the result is pleasant, we say:

Good decision.

If it is painful:

Bad decision.

But this creates our first difficulty.

When exactly has the result arrived?

3. The Result of Karma Does Not Arrive at One Fixed Time

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A result may appear:

• immediately,
• while the karma is still being performed,
• when the karma finishes,
• days later,
• years later,
• or throughout the rest of life.

One karma may also produce many results at different times.

For example:

A decision may give immediate pleasure but create suffering ten years later.

Another decision may cause immediate pain but later save us from a much greater difficulty.

Therefore, we need at least two time dimensions:

Short-run result

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Was the result pleasant or unpleasant in the near term?

Long-run result

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What happened after enough time had passed?

This gives four possibilities:

Already our simple idea of “good result” becomes complicated.

4. Sukha and Dukha

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When a result is pleasing to us, we experience:

Sukha — pleasure, satisfaction, comfort.

When a result is displeasing, we experience:

Dukha — pain, dissatisfaction, discomfort.

We may therefore begin to think:

The karma that produced sukha was good karma.

and:

The karma that produced dukha was bad karma.

But that conclusion may be premature.

Suppose something gives me pleasure today but destroys my health ten years later.

Was it good?

Suppose something causes pain today but develops discipline, maturity and clarity in me.

Was it bad?

Even more importantly:

Was what I wanted in the first place actually good for me?

That question changes everything.

5. Perceived Good and Actual Good Are Different

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Before acting, I may believe:

This is good karma.

But that is only my judgment at that moment.

Therefore, we should distinguish:

Perceived nature of karma

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What I think I am doing:

• good,
• bad.

Actual consequences of karma

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What K eventually produces:

• beneficial,
• harmful,
• mixed,
• or perhaps still unknown.

Something can therefore be:

Good in my judgment, but harmful in consequence.

Or:

Bad or unpleasant in my judgment, but ultimately beneficial.

This matters enormously when we start calling other people friends and enemies.

6. Now Another Person Enters the Story

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From here on the letters stay fixed:

• Karma K is the action I have chosen.
• Person X is the other person.
• Result R is the outcome I want from Karma K — a possession, a position, a relationship, relief, or some other desired condition.

Suppose I have decided to perform K.

Another person, X, can broadly respond in three ways:

Person X supports me

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X says:

Go ahead.

Person X opposes me

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X says:

Don’t do this.

Person X remains neutral

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X neither supports nor stops me.

We immediately start forming judgments about X.

If I believe K is good and X supports me:

X is my friend.

If X opposes me:

X is my enemy.

If X remains neutral:

X does not care about me.

But notice something.

At this stage the result may not even have arrived.

We have already classified X.

7. The Four Core Variables

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At minimum, our judgment involves four variables.

Variable 1 — Karma K

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As I understand it:

• Good
• Bad

Variable 2 — Person X’s response

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• Support
• Oppose
• Neutral

Variable 3 — Short-run result

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• Good
• Bad

Variable 4 — Long-run result

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• Good
• Bad

Mathematically this creates:

2 × 3 × 2 × 2

= 24 possible combinations.

Yet in real life we often make the friend/enemy judgment after observing only the first two variables.

We decide what we want to do.

Then we observe whether X supports us.

And immediately:

Friend.

or:

Enemy.

The remaining variables have not even unfolded.

8. Let Us Examine All the Possibilities

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Instead of repeating 24 nearly identical stories, let us systematically examine the complete structure.

A. I Believe Karma K Is Good

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Person X Supports Me

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Short run good — long run good

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Everything appears straightforward.

I wanted to do something good.

X supported me.

Things worked well immediately.

Things also remained good later.

Naturally I conclude:

X was my friend.

This is the easiest case.

But even here, we should ask:

Was X’s support wise?

Did X understand the situation?

Or did X merely agree with me and happen to be right?

The outcome alone does not completely reveal the quality of X’s judgment.

Short run good — long run bad

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Initially I am happy.

I may thank X:

You supported me when I needed you.

Years later the same K creates suffering.

Now my interpretation of X may change.

I may think:

Why did X encourage me?

The same person moves in my mind from:

friend → foolish friend → perhaps enemy.

But X has not changed.

My knowledge of the consequences changed.

Short run bad — long run good

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Initially K causes difficulty.

I may regret it.

I may even blame X:

Why did you encourage me to do this?

Later its deeper benefits become visible.

Now I say:

X understood something I didn’t understand.

Again:

My label changed because time changed my understanding of the result.

Short run bad — long run bad

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Now I may strongly regret both K and X’s support.

I may say:

X should have stopped me.

But an important question remains:

Who actually chose K?

Unless X forced or manipulated me, the final choice was still mine.

Support does not remove responsibility.

B. I Believe Karma K Is Good, but Person X Opposes Me

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Now our tendency to label X an enemy becomes much stronger.

Short run good — long run good

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I succeed despite X.

Naturally I may conclude:

X was wrong.

Perhaps:

X was jealous.

Perhaps even:

X was my enemy.

That judgment may indeed be correct.

But not necessarily.

X could have opposed me sincerely with limited information.

Being wrong does not automatically make someone an enemy.

Short run good — long run bad

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At first I think:

Good thing I ignored X.

Later things deteriorate.

Now suddenly X’s old warning becomes meaningful.

I may think:

X could see what I couldn’t see.

The person I called an enemy may now appear to have been a friend.

Short run bad — long run good

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Initially both X’s opposition and the unpleasant result may make me doubt myself.

Later the long-term result proves beneficial.

Now several interpretations remain possible.

Perhaps X was genuinely wrong.

Perhaps X opposed me out of fear.

Perhaps X intended to protect me but misunderstood the situation.

Once again:

Opposition does not tell us intention.

Short run bad — long run bad

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It appears X was right to oppose me.

If I ignored X, I may eventually appreciate that person’s judgment.

The supposed enemy may have been the person trying hardest to protect me.

9. What If Person X Remains Neutral?

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Neutrality is especially interesting because we often interpret it emotionally.

We may think:

If X really cared about me, X would have supported me.

But neutrality can mean many things.

X may:

• not understand the situation,
• not have sufficient information,
• believe it is your decision,
• disagree but not want to interfere,
• agree but not want responsibility,
• be indifferent,
• fear conflict,
• respect your autonomy,
• or simply not know what is right.

Therefore, all four result combinations remain possible:

None of them, by itself, tells us whether X’s neutrality was friendship, indifference, wisdom, cowardice, or respect.

So neutrality cannot automatically be classified as hostility.

10. Now Suppose I Am Trying to Do Bad Karma K

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This is where our definition of friendship becomes even more unstable.

Imagine that I want to do something that is actually harmful, unethical, foolish, addictive, destructive, or shortsighted.

But at that moment I want to do it.

What does my mind expect from a friend?

Very often:

Support me.

Now everything becomes inverted.

11. Person X Supports My Bad Karma K

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Suppose X says:

Do it. I am with you.

Short run good — long run good

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From my personal perspective, I may call X a friend.

But we still need to ask:

Good for whom?

Good in what sense?

K might benefit me while harming somebody else.

Therefore even apparently successful results do not settle the moral question.

Short run good — long run bad

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This is extremely common.

K gives immediate pleasure.

X supports me.

I say:

What a wonderful friend.

Years later the consequences become painful.

Now I may ask:

Why didn’t X stop me?

The person who helped satisfy my desire may have helped deepen my suffering.

Short run bad — long run good

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This combination reminds us that even our classification of “bad K” may have been mistaken or incomplete.

Perhaps K was unconventional rather than genuinely bad.

Perhaps we misunderstood its nature.

Therefore the model forces us to distinguish again between:

what I thought K was

and

what it actually was.

Short run bad — long run bad

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Here X’s support appears clearly harmful.

But again:

Was X deliberately trying to harm me?

Or was X equally ignorant?

Two people can walk together toward a bad result without either being the other’s enemy.

They may simply share the same ignorance.

12. Person X Opposes My Bad Karma K

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Now consider the person who says:

Don’t do it.

At that moment I may become angry.

I may say:

Who are you to stop me?

Short run good — long run good

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Perhaps X was simply mistaken.

But if X opposed me sincerely, error alone still does not establish enmity.

Short run good — long run bad

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This case is especially revealing.

I ignore X.

Initially I enjoy the result.

I think:

X was unnecessarily negative.

Years later suffering appears.

Now I realize:

X was warning me.

The supposed enemy may have been the real friend.

Short run bad — long run good

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My first experience may seem to prove X correct.

Later it turns out differently.

This reminds us again how difficult it is to judge a decision before enough time has passed.

Short run bad — long run bad

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X’s opposition now appears justified.

Perhaps the person I resisted was precisely the person who saw the danger.

13. Person X Remains Neutral While I Do Bad Karma K

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Again all four combinations are possible.

X may stay neutral because:

• X respects my freedom,
• X is afraid of me,
• X does not care,
• X doesn’t understand,
• X thinks intervention will make things worse,
• X secretly wants me to fail,
• or X believes I must learn through experience.

So even after seeing the result, intention remains relevant.

14. Results Alone Are Not Enough

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We therefore need additional variables.

Suppose X opposed me and I later suffered.

Was X my friend?

Not necessarily.

Imagine X opposed me because X hated me and wanted me to fail.

By accident, X’s opposition happened to protect me.

The outcome was beneficial.

But X’s intention was hostile.

Now reverse it.

X supports me sincerely believing K will help me.

It later harms me.

Was X therefore my enemy?

Not necessarily.

X may have loved me but lacked knowledge.

So we must distinguish:

Intention from outcome.

15. Person X’s Intention

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X may act from:

• concern,
• compassion,
• love,
• selfish interest,
• fear,
• jealousy,
• hatred,
• control,
• ignorance,
• social pressure,
• or uncertainty.

Two people can perform exactly the same external action for completely different reasons.

One person may stop me because:

I don’t want you to suffer.

Another may stop me because:

I don’t want you to succeed.

Externally both are opposing me.

Internally they are almost opposites.

How then can opposition alone define an enemy?

16. Person X’s Knowledge

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There is another variable.

Perhaps X knows something I do not know.

Perhaps I know something X does not know.

Perhaps neither of us knows enough.

We should therefore ask:

• Did X understand the likely consequences?
• Did I understand them?
• What information was available at the time?
• What uncertainty existed?

A person can have a good intention and bad judgment.

Another can have bad intention and accidentally give good advice.

Life does not organize itself neatly around our labels.

17. Advice Is Not the Same as Force

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Another important distinction is agency.

X may:

• advise me,
• encourage me,
• discourage me,
• pressure me,
• emotionally manipulate me,
• deceive me,
• prevent me,
• or physically force me.

These are not equivalent.

If X advises me and I freely act, I remain responsible for my choice.

If X knowingly deceives or coerces me, X carries much greater responsibility.

Therefore:

Support or opposition must also be understood in terms of how much freedom remained with me.

18. Good for Whom?

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There is another hidden difficulty.

When I say:

The result was good,

I normally mean:

The result was good for me.

But karma does not happen in isolation.

K may be:

• good for me,
• bad for my family,
• profitable for my company,
• harmful to customers,
• convenient for my generation,
• destructive for the next generation.

So another variable is:

Who bears the consequence?

Friendship cannot be evaluated only through personal benefit.

Someone helping me exploit another person is not necessarily my friend simply because I benefited.

19. The Inner Result of Karma

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Until now we have discussed external outcomes.

But karma also changes the person performing it.

Suppose an action gives me:

• money,
• status,
• influence,
• victory.

Externally I succeeded.

But suppose it simultaneously increases:

• greed,
• arrogance,
• fear,
• dependency,
• hatred,
• restlessness.

Was the result really good?

Conversely, an unpleasant experience may increase:

• patience,
• discrimination,
• compassion,
• courage,
• humility,
• clarity,
• freedom from dependency.

Therefore, beyond short-run and long-run external results, there is another important dimension:

What did this K make of me?

20. Bondage and Freedom

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From a contemplative perspective, this may be one of the deepest tests.

A pleasant karma can bind me.

An unpleasant karma can free me.

Suppose twenty years later I still think:

Those were the glorious days. If only I could have them again.

Pleasure has become attachment.

Or I repeatedly think:

Why did that happen to me?

Pain has become resentment.

In both cases the external karma ended long ago.

But psychologically K continues.

The event survives as:

• craving,
• regret,
• pride,
• guilt,
• nostalgia,
• anger,
• fear.

The body completed K.

The mind did not.

Perhaps a truly good K is one whose memory eventually leaves the mind with greater:

• clarity,
• maturity,
• compassion,
• equanimity,
• and freedom.

Not merely a pleasant memory.

21. Now Return to the Question: Who Is Our Enemy?

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Look at how complicated the situation has become.

Before calling X my friend or enemy, we may need to know:

1. What K did I want to perform?
2. Did I think it was good or bad?
3. Was my judgment correct?
4. Did X support, oppose, or remain neutral?
5. Why did X do so?
6. What did X know?
7. What did I know?
8. Was I acting freely?
9. What was the short-term result?
10. What was the long-term result?
11. Who benefited?
12. Who suffered?
13. What happened to my character?
14. Did K increase bondage or freedom?
15. Have all the consequences even appeared yet?

Yet we often make the judgment after only this:

I wanted R.

X stopped me.

Therefore:

X is my enemy.

Or:

I wanted something.

X supported me.

Therefore:

X is my friend.

That is an extraordinary simplification.

22. Our Labels Change with Time

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Imagine one event.

At age 25:

X ruined my life.

At age 35:

Perhaps X had a point.

At age 45:

If X had not stopped me, I might have made a terrible mistake.

At age 65:

X was one of the few people who really cared for me.

Which statement was true?

The event did not change.

X’s action did not change.

The observer changed.

Knowledge changed.

Consequences unfolded.

Priorities changed.

The meaning changed.

This should make us cautious about permanent labels created from temporary understanding.

23. A Friend Is Not Someone Who Always Says Yes

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If friendship means:

Someone who helps me obtain whatever I currently desire,

then a flatterer can become our greatest friend.

An addict’s best friend would be the person who provides more of the addiction.

An angry person’s best friend would be the person who encourages revenge.

A greedy person’s best friend would be the person who helps him acquire more.

Clearly something is wrong with that definition.

A genuine friend may sometimes say:

Yes.

Sometimes:

No.

Sometimes:

I don’t know.

And sometimes:

This is your decision, but think carefully.

Therefore:

Agreement is not friendship.

And:

Disagreement is not enmity.

24. An Enemy Is Not Merely Someone Who Creates Difficulty

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The person who makes our path difficult may be protecting us.

The person making our path easy may be helping us walk toward a cliff.

So difficulty cannot define an enemy either.

There is an interesting asymmetry here.

We judge other people through our present desires.

But we judge past decisions through later consequences.

That means the standard itself keeps changing.

25. Then Who Is the Real Enemy?

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Perhaps the deeper enemy is not always a person outside us.

It may be:

• our lack of discrimination,
• impulsiveness,
• ignorance,
• attachment,
• fear,
• greed,
• borrowed desires,
• unquestioned beliefs,
• inability to think long-term,
• inability to tolerate temporary discomfort,
• or certainty about things we do not actually know.

In Vedantic language, this brings us close to viveka — discrimination between what appears desirable now and what is genuinely worth pursuing.

Our greatest problem may not be:

Someone is stopping me from getting what I want.

The deeper problem may be:

Do I know whether what I want is worth wanting?

26. The Mind Creates Friends and Enemies Very Quickly

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Observe the sequence.

I desire R.

Someone helps me get R.

My mind says:

Friend.

Someone obstructs R.

My mind says:

Enemy.

But hidden inside that judgment is an enormous assumption:

Getting R will make my life better.

If that assumption has not been examined, then the labels built upon it are unstable.

Suppose R itself later becomes the source of suffering.

Now my entire classification collapses.

The friend may look like an enemy.

The enemy may look like a friend.

The neutral person may look wise.

And sometimes everybody was simply acting with incomplete knowledge.

27. A More Careful Way to Judge

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Perhaps instead of asking:

Did this person support me?

we should ask:

What was this person’s intention?

What did this person know?

What did I know?

How much freedom did I have?

What were the immediate consequences?

What were the later consequences?

Who else was affected?

What did this experience do to my mind and character?

And finally:

Can I now look at this event without attachment, hatred, guilt, pride or regret?

This does not mean that enemies do not exist.

People can deliberately:

• deceive,
• exploit,
• injure,
• manipulate,
• betray,
• or destroy.

We should not use philosophy to deny such realities.

But even then, clarity is more useful than a hurried label.

We need to distinguish:

A harmful action

from

our complete judgment of a human being.

28. The Most Important Unknown

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Perhaps the most important variable in all these combinations is:

Time.

At the moment of action, we know very little of the complete result.

A karma performed today may continue producing consequences for decades.

Therefore, whenever we say:

This person helped me.

or:

This person harmed me.

we should silently remember:

“As far as I can presently see.”

That small qualification contains tremendous wisdom.

29. The Complete Framework

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We can now summarize the variables involved.

Notice the last possibility:

Still unknown.

Perhaps we need to use it much more often.

30. So Who Is Our Enemy?

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Perhaps sometimes there is an external enemy.

But very often what we call an enemy is simply:

someone standing between us and Result R.

And what we call a friend is simply:

someone helping us obtain Result R.

That tells us more about our desire for Result R than about the other person.

If our understanding of K is incomplete,

if the consequences are still unfolding,

if we do not know the person’s intention,

if we do not know what they knew,

and if we ourselves may later change our understanding,

then perhaps the wisest response is not:

Friend.

or:

Enemy.

Perhaps it is:

I do not yet know.

And perhaps this restraint itself is a form of viveka.

Before asking:

Who is my enemy?

we may need to ask:

What exactly am I trying to achieve?

Why do I believe it will give me sukha?

What will it do to me in the long run?

What will it do to others?

Will it leave me freer, or bind me more strongly?

And finally:

Am I calling someone my enemy merely because that person is obstructing Result R?

That may be the most important question of all.

Because sometimes the person standing against our desire is our well-wisher.

Sometimes the person enthusiastically supporting it is not.

Sometimes both are ignorant.

Sometimes we ourselves are ignorant.

And sometimes only many years later do we discover who really helped us.

Until then, perhaps we should be slower in creating friends and enemies in our mind.

Hari Om Tat Sat
Yours Truly Hari

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